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echo3 16-Oct-06, 07:54	Deleted by echo3 on 16-Oct-06, 07:54.
echo3 16-Oct-06, 07:55	Radical Islamism The UK has become the European centre for Radical Islam. Islamic groups banned elsewhere are tolerated here and individuals wanted for extradition by other countries across the world have been sheltered by the UK. On our streets, public demonstrations calling for the extermination of those who insult the Prophet Mohammad were idly watched by the police leading many to assume that Muslims no longer have to abide by UK law. The UK has exported Islamic terrorism across the world with British born muslims responsible for the planning and/or execution of a number of high profile terrorist acts. As Britain is chief ally to the USA, this problem is more than just a European issue. Now that the UK government is attempting to tighten up on the situation, Muslim groups are accusing the administration of "Islamaphobia". Any ideas in here as to either the scope of the problem and possible solutions?
jaymar 16-Oct-06, 09:58	Its.. ..a big problem. The furore over the "veil" has also highlighted that. And today we have proposals about making new schools partly "mixed faith" and I have already heard muslims in the media describing the proposal as an attack on Islam. I am afraid that any debate or discussion about Islam is tarnished by an instant reaction from muslims thats its an attack. When the Nazis started segregating the jews it was a deliberate attack by the government on a section of society. Here we seem to have muslims deliberately trying to segregate themselves, a reversal of that situation. I think we are in very dangerous times. I doubt that it would take much for a party like the BNP to do well and to start polarising people even further. I believe there must be moderate voices out there that will speak for Islam and they must make more effort in being heard. Otherwise public opinion will continue to harden against them and we are then well down the road towards serious civil unrest.
kingofpawns 16-Oct-06, 10:00	Well... My first reaction is that the US should pull out of Iraq and attack the UK.   On a more serious note, two things should be done. First, the activities of islamic radicals must be closely watched. It looks like the UK is doing a good job of that. Second, Islamic people must become more integrated into UK society so that they feel greater need to protect their country from the small minority, which are radical.
jaymar 16-Oct-06, 10:16	I agree.. kop. However we seem to have a problem with "freedom". The government have made, as far as I can tell, a fairly low key proposal for universities to keep an eye on radical islamic students. This again has been denounced as spying and undemocratic. Our liberal press won't have any of it.
leo_london 16-Oct-06, 11:23	kop >My first reaction is that the US should pull out of Iraq and attack the UK.   < I can see we will have to mobilise the Walmington-On-Sea platoon of the Home Guard again. Captain Mainwaring, Sergeant Wilson..where are you ?... "Don't Panic! They don't like it up 'em".
echo3 16-Oct-06, 12:07	Quite right Leo!! Scene: Walmington-On-Sea Church Hall. Captain Mainwaring > "Wilson..?....... WILSON....?..... W-I-L-S-O-N.....??? Sgt Wilson > "Oh hello there Sir, how are you? Captain Mainwaring > "Never mind that Wilson, get the men on parade immediately" Sgt Wilson > "Right you are Sir" In the main hall the men fall in. Sgt Wilson > "Stand to attention will you please men" Captain Mainwaring > "Don't say 'please' Wilson, this isn't a meeting of the girl guides" Sgt Wilson > "Well, that's no reason to forget our manners Sir but, as you wish" Captain Mainwaring [Gives Wilson an icy stare] "Now men, you know that we, in the Home Guard are the last bastion against Al Qaeda. Now we have a new unseen enemy" Corporal Jones > "Is it the fuzzy-wuzzies Sir?" Captain Mainwaring >"No Corporal, it's radical islam, a far more dangerous foe" Corporal Jones > "I don't know about that Sir, those fuzzy-Wuzzies Sir, when they got themselves worked up Sir, they brought fear right into the pit of your stomach Sir. But we stood up to 'em Sir, showed 'em the cold steel you see Sir, cold steel. The fuzzy-wuzzies are a proud race Sir, and the cold steel... well Sir, they don't like like it up 'em Sir... they......" Cpatain Mainwaring > "YES YES... that'll be all Jones, pipe down........ Now these radical islamists, they are far worse than the fuzzy-wuzzies. They're in our midst, they stand next to us in the bus queues, in the pub they might be found bending over stoking the fire" Corporal Jones >"That'd be an ideal time to show them the steel Sir" Pike> "You'd have to be really careful Jonesey, if one of the embers fell onto the sheepskin rug it could burn the whole pub down" Captain Mainwaring > "YES alright........ alright...... can we please keep to the point?" [Corporal Jones is just about to speak but a sidways glance from Mainwaring silences him] Captain Mainwaring > "Where was I?....... Oh yes, the radical islamists..... these people have infiltrated our society and they're stiring up trouble among their own moderate communities. It may soon spill onto the streets and we in the home guard must be ready for a fight". Pike > "Excuse me Mr mainwaring Sir... what do these Islamists look like?" Captain Mainwaring > "Good question Pike. Well, they look like any other person of Middle Eastern origin....... but as a rule of thumb they will be the ones holding up placards with slogans on such as "Murder the Infidel" "Exterminate those who insult Islam" "Death to the non-believers" Corporal Jones > "Are you sure it's not the fuzzy-wuzzies Mr Mainwaring?" Captain Mainwaring > "Quite sure Jones, these are far more dangerous to us, somehow they have got the British establishment appeasing them, the press doing their PR, the police seemingly unwilling to tackle their public order offences....... it's a worrying time for us all" Sgt Wilson > "Have HQ given us any orders Sir? The behaviour of these chaps seems really off and not very British at all" Captain Mainwaring > "HQ have been on the phone to me today Wilson, they say we have to mobilize our forces and get ready for a fight" Corporal Jones > "Permission to put on my WWI uniform and Pith helmet Sir?" Cpatain Mainwaring > "Alright Jonsey.... and while you're at it..... you'd better sharpen that bayonet of yours too" Corporal Jones > "Thank you Sir. I remember general Kitchener said to me once.... Jones he said........ I said yes General...... Jones he said...... those fuzzy-wuzzies are getting troublesome again.... break out the cold steel Jones and make sure the men know what it's for....." Sgt Wilson "I hope this battle won't be too lengthy..... I don't want to miss my tea... we're having brisket tonight and Mavis has prepared her special onion gravy" Captain Mainwaring > "For God's sake Wilson......" Corporal Jones > "That's just what the fuzzy-wuzzies used to say Sir"
leo_london 16-Oct-06, 12:44	Brilliant, echo.  )) You missed your true vocation..I am looking foward to episode 2...
jaymar 16-Oct-06, 14:32	I second.. ..that motion. I thought it was a real episode for a while there. More please.
echo3 16-Oct-06, 17:08	The front-line Scene: Walmington-On_Sea High Street The Home Guard have dug in along the main street and are awaiting an assault from the Radical Islamists at any time. Captain Mainwaring > "Wilson?....... WILSON?.......W-I-L-S-O-N??...... where is he?" Corporal Jones > "Pardon me Sir but I saw Sgt Wilson go over the top not 10 minutes ago" Captain Mainwaring > "Thank you Corporal, any idea where he was headed?" Corporal Jones > " Yes Sir, he said he'd left the oven on and was worried that Mrs Pike might be burned alive as she slept Sir" Captain Mainwaring > "AHEM...Humph.. er Yes yes... thank you Jones that'll do. How are the defences Corporal?" Corporal Jones > " Very good Sir, the trench is fine and the men are looking very lively Sir, very lively.... if those fuzzy-islamists come at us Sir... they won't know what hit 'em" Captain Mainwaring > "Where did Sgt Wilson set up the Bren Gun position?" Corporal Jones > " Begging your pardon Sir but we don't have the bren gun" Captain Mainwaring > "What do you mean Corporal?" Corporal Jones > "Well Sir, Sgt Wilson said we should leave it in the church hall it being so heavy to carry Sir" Captain Mainwaring > "Too heavy? Too heav... Oh never mind.... Jones, Send two men back to the hall to collect it will you, right away" Corporal Jones > "Very well Sir... Pike....Godfrey... you lads get back to the hall and fetch the bren gun" Private Godfrey > "Oh.... um.... Mr Jones are you sure we'll be needing it? ..... It's so frightfully heavy..... I'm rather afraid of it in any case, the noise it makes when fired has a detrimental effect on my hearing" Corporal Jones > " Come on Mr Godfrey.... you can borrow my ear muffs" Godfrey > " I say........really? Well, that's most kind.... well, alright then......come on Pikey let's go to the chruch, I rather think I'll need the toilet while we're there" Corporal Jones > " I've detailed Pike & Godfrey to fetch the Bren Sir" captain Mainwaring > "Good man Jones. Have you seen Wilson yet?" Corporal Jones > "Yes Sir, he's just on his way back... look Sir..... he's just passing the hardware store...." Captain Mainwaring [Shouting loudly] > "Come on Wilson... there's a war on" [Wilson steps down into the trench] Captain Mainwaring > "Where the hell have you been Wilson?" Sgt Wilson > "I'm most frightfully sorry but I left the grill on you see Sir" Captain Mainwaring >" Yes, yes... alright......did you spot any enemy patrols?" Sgt Wilson > " As a matter of fact I did Sir and they looked awfully smart Sir.... and very nice chaps indeed..... polite and engaging..... very clean......rather a shame to be fighting them don't you think? captain Mainwaring > "Polite & engaging?....... don't tell me you stopped to chat Wilson?" Sgt Wilson > " Yes Sir... well it seemed rather rude not to... they were awfully nice and very interested in everything we were doing" Captain Mainwaring > "I hope you didn't slip up and tell them anything useful Wilson" Sgt Wilson > "No, no Sir not at all.... in fact they really were jolly nice.... I told them we'd forgotten the Bren gun Sir and they kindly offered to go an fetch it for us" Captain Mainwaring > "You're a damn fool Wilson, within minutes they'll have that gun trained on us ready for an attack" Sgt Wilson > " Do you really think so Sir?" Captain Mainwaring > "I'm telling you Wilson.... those savages will be on us in no time" Sgt Wilson > " I doubt it Sir..... you see their trench is facing the same way as ours" Captain Mainwaring > "What do you mean?" Sgt Wilson > " Well Sir, it's something to do with religion Sir... you see... they have to face east..... I must say their trench really is most decorative.... lovely kashmere mats all facing the same direction........and they have large bowls of water Sir" Captain Mainwaring > "Water, Wilson?" Sgt Wilson > "Yes... water Sir.... you see they bathe their feet before getting into their trench... they really are most frightfully civilized" Captain Mainwaring > "Did they tell you anything of their plans Wilson?" Sgt Wilson > "Yes sir, they really were awfully helpful..... they said they're going to send one or two of their chaps over to us in a little while.... they said these chaps would pop in on the way to meet their maker Sir" captain mainwaring > "What on earth can they mean by that" Sgt Wilson > " I'm not entirely sure but here come their chaps now Sir...... here.... take my binoculars Sir.... THERE! ......those two chaps there running towards us with the backpacks"
jaymar 17-Oct-06, 00:16	Oh.. ..left us on a knife edge. Its like being back at the saturday morning movies! I definitely think there's a series in this!
echo3 17-Oct-06, 05:06	Home Guard Part III The Walmington-On-Sea home guard trench position Captain Mainwaring > “ I can’t see….. NO! Wait!….. YES… I ..see them Wilson….. two of them… heavy backpacks….. they seem to be shouting something……..I…I can’t make it out……” Sgt Wilson > “I can hear it quite clearly Sir… they’re shouting ‘Allahu Akbar min kullisay’ Sir” [With this Corporal Jones bolts out of the trench] Corporal Jones > “ DON’T PANIC!!……….DON’T PANIC!!……. ‘Allah is greater than everything’… DON’T PANIC……!!!!” Captain Mainwaring > “JONES!… For goodness sake get a hold of yourself……. Wilson… get him back in the trench” Sgt Wilson > “ Right away say Sir……. Now…. come on Jonesey…….. calm down and come back into the trench.. there’s a good fellow” [Pike grabs Jones’ puttees and pulls him below the parapet] Corporal Jones > “Sorry about that Mr Mainwaring Sir….…. It’s the mention of Allah you see Sir….. turns me cold Sir…. Divine retribution and all Sir……..Reminds me of Omdurman Sir…. Those fuzzy-wuzzies captured three of our men Sir….. all night long we heard the chanting ……. Next day we sent out a recce party to find the men and when we got there it was too late Sir” Captain Mainwaring > “What happened Jonesey, were they dead?” Corporal Jones > “ No Sir, far worse Sir… the fuzzy-wuzzies had converted them to Islam Sir” Captain Mainwaring > “Great Scott!……. This is serious Wilson…… if the enemy make it into our trench they’ll convert the men and we’ll be done for” Sgt Wilson > “Oh I don’t know Sir, I really rather quite fancy converting to Islam…. Such a peaceful religion…. I rather think Mavis would like me in a Shemag…and I do have a swarthy look about me Sir” Captain Mainwaring > “Pull yourself together Wilson… this is Rule Britannia…. Land of Hope & Glory….. not “It ain’t half hot Mum”….. get the men ready for action” Sgt Wilson > “Very well Sir……. RIGHT! Now listen up chaps… if you wouldn’t mind too much it’s time to get the weapons ready and stand to” [Captain Mainwaring appears to inspect the men ] Captain Mainwaring > “ Wilson…. Where’s private Godfrey?” Sgt Wilson > “ Well, Sir I’ve given him the afternoon off” Captain Mainwaring > “ Afternoon off?…… whatever for?” Sgt Wilson > “ Well, Sir, he’s not over keen on doing any fighting today you see. He’d planned to go to the market with his sister Dotty and says she gets very tetchy if she misses the market” Captain Mainwaring > “ Oh this is ridiculous Wilson, how are we supposed to fight the forces of Radical Islam with this motley crew” Sgt Wilson > “ Oh I quite agree Sir…… let’s hope these two with the backpacks have come to make peace” Captain Mainwaring > “ What do you suppose is in those rucksacks Wilson” Sgt Wilson > “ Pistascio nuts I shouldn’t wonder Sir” Captain Mainwaring > “ Nuts Wilson?” Sgt Wilson > “ Yes Sir, I hear they are awfully fond of them Sir…. Or is that the Iranians.. I forget… but I’m sure it’ll be tasty whatever it is Sir, they’re famous for their spicy cooking” [Corporal Jones appears from nowhere] Corporal Jones > “ I don’t like the look of those fuzzy-islamist backpackers Mr Mainwaring……. I think we should give ‘em a taste of the cold steel Sir” Sgt Wilson > “ That’d be awfully rude Jonesy, they are after all guests in Britain, perhaps we should roll out a red carpet for them ….. what do you think Sir? Captain Mainwaring > ” A red carpet? Don't be absurd Wilson. Do we have red carpet?” Pike > “ My mum has alovely red shawl that Uncle Arthur bought for her birthday…. I could go and fetch that Sir?” Captain Mainwaring > “ You’re a stupid boy Pike”
leo_london 17-Oct-06, 06:45	Episode three..best of the lot, so far.  )) We should really cast our members and have this as our Christmas panto.
echo3 17-Oct-06, 06:57	Hahahahaha! Indeed Leo my friend but I'm not sure the yanks would get it. If they did idKOP would have to play Pike
echo3 17-Oct-06, 07:27	Home Guard Part IV The Walmington-On-Sea Home guard trench. [Captain Mainwaring, Sgt Wilson & the men are watching the approach of two Islamist backpackers] Sgt Wilson > " Shall I get the men ready to receive our guests Sir?" Captain Mainwaring > " Their not guests Wilson, their our enemy and don't you forget it" [Wilson tuts and raises his eyes to heaven" Sgt Wilson > " That's awfully churlish Sir, they really are the most splendid bunch of cha...." [Before Wilson can finish the two backpackers jump into the far end of the trench and there's a massive explosion which leaves a massive smoking crater and breaks every windon in the high street] Captain Mainwaring > " BY JOVE!!!!..... get your head down Wilson....... CRIKEY! What an explosion........ was it those islamists do you think Wilson?" Sgt Wilson > " Hard to say sir. Do you think they were suicide pistachio nut carriers then Sir?" Captain Mainwaring > "Don't be obtuse Wilson.......those backpacks must have been filled with high explosive" Sgt Wilson > " Surely not Sir! Those chaps are really very very nice Sir, in fact Mavis and I are having several of them over for tea this evening and........" Captain Mainwaring > " YES THANK YOU Wilson......... we are at war........ What other explanation is there for the explosion do you think?" Sgt Wilson > " Perhaps one of the men hit the gas main with a pick axe Sir..... or it could be that high explosives were buried in this pavement all along... for years.... or maybe it's the government Sir...... perhaps they're hoping this will finally turn us against these lovely islamist fellows?" Captain Mainwaring > " Don't be idiotic Wilson, you saw those men jump into the trench with those backpacks on...... you think that's coincidence do you?" Sgt Wilson > " Well, with your permission Sir, I'd like to get to the crater and take a closer look" Captain Mainwaring > " Very well, what are you hoping to find?" Sgt Wilson > " Well Sir, if my theory is right.... Nutshells Sir.... thousands of nutshells"
soulcrates 17-Oct-06, 13:55	Where's Yossarian?! I need more cowbell.

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