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qiwi 15-Nov-06, 20:02 |
 Bereavement??My mum preceded him 5 years ago and I was fortunate to be with both of them at the end.... Neither of my parents were remotely religious but they were both courageous and unflinching up until they took their last breath.... no recriminations, no guilt, and no fear... they both instilled a huge feeling of pride in those of us who were there to share their final days and hours and minutes....... My dad's health was failing but he maintained his sense of humour until the end... I felt truly humbled and at the same time privileged to be there to help them through the final stages.... It was amazing how both my mum and my dad went with it and became more and more serene as the process unfolded... Both she and my dad were surrounded by close family and they both looked positively radiant and at peace when the end arrived.... I dont know where they went but I hope I end up there.... I hope this is not too maudlin a topic but I thought maybe some others might like to share their experiences on what for many is a sensitive subject... |
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qiwi my uncle (uclaken) passed on sept 16 after a one year battle with skin cancer...it was not nice...his wife, my aunt, says that the cancer did not kill him, but the hospital did. i was very close to him...in fact he introduced me to gameknot. we used to smoke a doobie, drink scotch, and play chess into the wee hours whenever i would visit family in la. he was the only black person in my family...he had a difficult life (addicted mother, never knew his dad, brother died of aids while homeless in new york) yet he turned out to be the most generous, big hearted person it has been my fortune to know. i miss my uncle ken! |
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bobbynox 15-Nov-06, 20:23 |
Deleted by bobbynox on 23-Jan-07, 09:53.
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qiwi 15-Nov-06, 20:34 |
Jeff.... My dad celebrated his 85th birthday just over a week before his passing.... so he had a good innings.... He was a hard worker all his life but never lusted after material things.... Basically he left the same way he arrived... with nothing, and in many ways this was a blessing.... p.s. condolences on the passing of your uncle. He sounds like my kind of guy!! |
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qiwi 15-Nov-06, 20:44 |
Bobby..... these guys in the knowledge that it will be treated in a respectful and supportive way.... p.s. sorry I havent been able to play a more active role here but I now only have access to the internet at work. I do however try to keep up with what's happening in the hope I can contribute more when I am able.... |
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i lost my best friend when I was only 6 years old - my grandfather passed away secondary to complications from Alzhiemer's. it was horrible for me because grampa wasn't grampa anymore - he didn't even know who I was . . . death is a horrible thing, but unfortunately part of life and I had to learn that at a young age. the thought of losing my father is almost more than I can fathom at this point in my life - all that wisdom and experience that I lean on so heavily . . . and to imagine I used to think my old man was full of crap. anyway, I know I will painfully miss my father when it his time. my thoughts go out to you and yours. Josh |
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saintinsanity 15-Nov-06, 23:23 |
Qiwi! Death is a strange thing. It comes to all of us. It SHOULD put things in perspective for us; what is really important in life...but it seems we ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. Some people lose hope; death is inevitable, nothing matters, blah blah blah. I think life is too amazing to believe that. I lost my dad when I was six. I think that is actually easier than what you went through. I never got the chance to fully love him and know him, so the loss of him wasn't noticed as much. When you spend a lifetime loving someone the loss is definitely harder. I hope you don't feel too alone in the world. Luckily I still have my mom, but she is getting older....I don't know how I will react when she pays her debt to nature, but it will probably be full of blubbering and tears. May the peace of the universe be upon you. |
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jason_886 16-Nov-06, 09:22 |
I’ve lost a couple of good friends over the years; one of my very best friends died three years ago. We grew up together through school and college and would compete against each other in a good way; we always had a laugh too. Sometimes when I think of him it does make me sad that he’s not around, but not for long because I remember all the good times we had together; and I’m sure you have many happy memories to help you through this difficult time. With sympathy, Jason |
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sirtgl 16-Nov-06, 09:50 |
A friend of mine from school died in a car crash when he was 19, and my father died 7 years ago with a very aggressive lung cancer. It doesn't matter how much time we spend with our loved ones, it is never enough in the end. There is always something left unsaid, and some moments that you wish you could get back and use more wisely. But it's also a part of life and we all die one day. Let's use the time wisely. |
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jaymar 16-Nov-06, 12:54 |
Deleted by jaymar on 22-Nov-06, 12:09.
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qiwi |
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qiwi 22-Nov-06, 01:22 |
the service went smoothly and I am sure he would have been thrilled with the turn-out.... |
