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 University Style Witticisms? |
pennsylvaniadan
16-Jun-12, 21:07
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Never cared for Python----George Carlin was the master-----
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I look forward to some hilarity now tipsy - show us what you've got!
incidentally I think the python crew are hilarious. British humour is great.
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here's a few of my George Carlin favourites
"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
and probably my #1 quote from him is
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster
than you is a maniac?"
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And now for some late scores:
9 to 2, 14 to 7 and 22 to zip!
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-> Johnclark
gah which sketch is that? Sounds familiar but it's been too long since I watched my Flying Circus. There was a time where I had every sketch in a notepad file and midi (yes midi, shaddup, thems were the dial up days) file. Thankfully I just realised that they're all there on you tube! Think I'll check out the Cheese Shop sketch, or maybe the four Yorkshireman, or perhaps....DENNIS MOORE.....The bloody cat's choked on Lupins!
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Late score sketch
I remember it from a live performance by George Carlin in Fresno, California back in the early
1980's.
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Clearly then, I'm remembering something else!
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On meterology
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by
morning.
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Relativity
There was a man named Dwight,
Who traveled at the speed of light,
He left home that day,
In a relative way,
And got home the previous night.
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actually if he was travelling at the speed of light, his time would dilate. So he'd actually get home at a night some time well into the future, though, having travelled some great distance in, from Dwight's point of view, only a few hours. Of course if he just went to the shops and back at the speed of light then it would seem, to the neighbour, that he'd only been gone a few minutes, though for Dwight it would have seemed like a few seconds. At any rate, he's not going back in time! That's impossible. That is, impossible without a DeLorean, flux capacitor and 1.21 Gigawatts of power!
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As you approach light speed
The limerick was actually created to poke fun at Einstein's theory that as you traveled and approached the speed of light time slowed down and the length of measuring instruments would shorten. Though Einstein did not believe you could travel at the speed of light he did posit that if a person did that time would cease to move, and if Dwight could actually go faster than the speed of light that time would go in reverse.
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Counting
There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't.
Also, there are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2 + 2 = 4 except for the greater values of 2.
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ah then the line should be "who travelled faster than the speed of light". Of course I'm just being silly pointing out the flawed physics of a limerick. But this appears to be the thread for silly stuff! (Love the binary joke btw, oldy but a goody)
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