| From | Message |
abegtrup
11/28/2004
21:12:49
[ report this post ] |
 Subject: Pawn Stars' Limerick Competition
Message:
First fifty entries will be considered. =) All are welcome.
Winner gets a free trip over Antwerp (yes, Belgium - so of no real value...) and top spot on
the Pawn Star website (pawnstars.org) page that I will dedicate to this.
Any more incentive needed - No?! Great, let's begin!
I figure you're bored of just sittin'
and really would like to fit in,
so why not participate
and help proliferate
the art of rhyming with a mission!
Yours truly,
- Pawn Star Social Director (abegtrup)
|
pandemona
11/29/2004
01:08:09
[ report this post ] |
Message:
Hah! Well, I can do better than that.
White once played a gambit by Greco,
More harmless than even a gecko.
(More skill was essential
To tap its potential)
The game was as lost as art deco.
|
pandemona
11/29/2004
01:08:54
[ report this post ] |
Message:
Oh, rah me. Let's try that again.
Black once played a gambit by Greco,
More harmless than even a gecko.
(More skill was essential
To tap its potential)
The game was as lost as art deco.
Ahem. There we go. *whistles*
|
bgscot
11/29/2004
06:13:01
[ report this post ] | <cough>... hmmm.... poor taste photo op...
Message:
There once was a Tranny named bergil,
Whose acts were strange, naughty and ill,
He invested in habits,
involving fluffy rabbits,
and a duct taped gerbil named Big Bill.
<cough>... Thank you, thank you very much.
Elvis has left the building.
|
bergil
11/29/2004
06:50:07
[ report this post ] | Bgscot
Message:
There is a hermaphrodite called bgscot
Who claims of beastiality he now has forgot
Was in a squirrel cult, what a complete dolt
Now says it wasn't my fault
|
abegtrup
11/29/2004
07:31:54
[ report this post ] | couldn't limbo under that lowered bar...
Message:
Two limericks by a pair of babies,
both of them still wettin their undies.
For them it's a treat,
when xena gives them a beat -
right on the back of their heinies!
|
gru88y
11/29/2004
08:13:56
[ report this post ] | well if that is going to be the tone...
Message:
...
Once an old battle axe called Eddy
Claimed she was always ready
To put up a fight
When nutkin turned out the light
And he claims that they is now goin steady
A Londoner by the name Leo
Had a frightful problem with BO
Each time he was near
The chess players would jeer
And pelt him with assorted deo
There once was an old chap called Armin
Who took to the life of the farmin
Through the Squirrels he did shun
Away with his gun
But sheep he found rather charmin
and there is more...
There was a lost soul called Panda
Who often our forum would ganda
Then one dark night
He got such a fright
Cos our language was not to his canda
so sorry
There was a nice Belgian called Xavier
Who published a jazz mag called caviar
But there were so very few
Who shared his interest in poo
That he had to move on to oap labia
I thanky you
|
bgscot
11/29/2004
08:28:20
[ report this post ] | An low class limerick ode to two Chess weasels....
Message:
There once was a silly twit called bergil,
Whose delusions of grandeur were terminal,
Often accused of being a nitwit,
He protested being called a git,
And spent years as slave to the great squirrel.
Is Xena's bustier easy to rip?
or stiff as the leather of her whip,
Which she knew how to use,
For when abegtrup begged for abuse,
Hours were spent on an S&M bondage trip.
|
gru88y
11/29/2004
08:35:47
[ report this post ] | hummmm(us)
Message:
A Canadian named bgscot
Escaped from his kiddie cot
His spleen he would vent
And to Coventry he was sent
Cos is limericks had no rhyme or meter whatsoever really
|
bgscot
11/29/2004
10:46:57
[ report this post ] | Help me with this one.
Message:
Most disorderly, drunk and obscene,
Of the Pawnstars the heathens did scream,
It's conspiracy we fear,
And all they do is drink beer,
Surely the only recourse is quarentine.
|
bergil
11/29/2004
17:09:53
[ report this post ] | Enough said
Message:
Of the pestilence nonsense and rot
Bgscot is shown to be a bigot
He tries to amuse, but is o so confused
The fagot who likes being used
|
xena
11/29/2004
21:46:33
[ report this post ] | Ode To My Wonderful Team
Message:
There are some guys on Gameknot,
Whose 'limericks' are totally rot.
They're crappy and sucky,
You are all just damn lucky,
I'm still deciding...behead you or not?
Xena AKA 'The Old Battleaxe'
|
bergil
11/30/2004
05:58:11
[ report this post ] | Ode to your wonderful team
Message:
To my favorite team on gameknot
Who is worse than rubbish I kid not
They piss and they moan, all relatives disown
Wishing to remain unknown
See I can be clean if not provoked.
|
gru88y
11/30/2004
08:36:56
[ report this post ] | well done...
Message:
...bergil,
I thought bgscot was a bit on the 'special side', but I note you have usurped him. What you have
posted there my little colonial convict is a pair of rhyming couplets, rather than a limerick;
A limerick having a 5th line which should rhyme with the 1st and second lines. However, I must
add you seem to have tried your very best with the third line, as you managed two rhymes.
Bless.
|
tertsius
11/30/2004
10:00:16
[ report this post ] | Ode to Xena
Message:
It's eat drink and be merry
But Xena wishes she was Larry
It's Tarzan leather no Vera Wang silk
Princess of confused and tawdry ilk
Of her sexuality Xena is contrary
|
revived45
11/30/2004
11:06:20
[ report this post ] | TARGETED LIMRICK
Message:
We play a great game called chess
On Gameknot we try to de-stress
Our commander is Xena
There is no one keener
To kick New York a** I confess.
|
xena
11/30/2004
13:51:02
[ report this post ] | Rhyme And No Reason
Message:
Your Captain you really should dread,
'Cos this forum is the worst ever read,
It stinks of old socks
And totally NOT rocks,
Quick! vote and delete this thread!
|
xena
11/30/2004
15:17:27
[ report this post ] | No Wang To Speak Of
Message:
Btw, I think revived45's limerick is quite good, considering the standard isn't very high. The rest of you suck big time... especially bergil.
Also tertsius, flattery will get you nowhere :-)
Yours, xena (The Confused and Tawdry)
|
abegtrup
11/30/2004
19:12:47
[ report this post ] | no winners yet...
Message:
So far these limericks are lewd,
and put me in a rather foul mood.
Is there no class,
in this proletariat mass,
that can impress the Social Dude?
|
xena
11/30/2004
21:12:28
[ report this post ] | Advice to a Social Dude
Message:
When you hold a 'contest' on here,
from experience it's really quite clear,
that the results have no taste
and of time are a waste,
so there's no point expecting Shakespeare.
Xena/Eddy/Larry
PS. If I don't win there will be a HEAP of trouble. You've heard of a foregone conclusion haven't you? :-)
|
rupert29
11/30/2004
21:35:53
[ report this post ] | Oh my.
Message:
Nutkin by name and Squirrel by nature,
Where is the class, is there no culture?
At chess I am bad,
This makes me mad,
So turn me into a Vulture!
Yes, bad I know, but I had to enter something!!
|
xena
11/30/2004
23:45:10
[ report this post ] | Upon Considering The Poetic Efforts of Others
Message:
All these rhymes are so very trite,
We don't want them on the website.
They're un-funny and boring,
They leave us all snoring,
That's what you get from the not -very- bright.
PS. Really struggled with that last line didn't ya Nutkin? :-)
|
bgscot
12/01/2004
06:38:00
[ report this post ] | Where's my big blue helmet?
Message:
Special Ed Limericks dedicated to Grubby:
I'm sorry my efforts are unclean,
They should'nt be viewed by those under eighteen,
I hope your not a prude,
As I write best in the nude,
I can see how you'd find them obscene.
I've been told I should be committed,
or at least permanently sedated,
I'm really just Special Ed.,
And not right in the head,
Where's the love? All I get is hatred?
Psychotically yours,
Shakespeare
|
tertsius
12/01/2004
17:18:01
[ report this post ] | Ode to Xena II
Message:
She hails from the land downunder
Her amazon figure the 8th wonder
She weilds a mighty big sword
in her work as a star pawn lord
she buries chess foes asunder
|
bergil
12/01/2004
18:34:24
[ report this post ] | Ode to Xena III
Message:
She hails from the land of the wrong white crowd
Her bluster she musters and quiet loud
She has the tongue of a viper
And with it, good as a snipper
Serpent queen of the pawn stars and proud
|
xena
12/01/2004
23:56:01
[ report this post ] | Lines Writ Upon Reading A Pleasing Ode To Onesself
Message:
Well well, an improvement I see,
I so like the ones that praise me.
Now, of this contest, I'll be judge
No SD, from that I won't budge.'
It really pays to keep Xena happy :-)
|
pandemona
12/02/2004
05:03:30
[ report this post ] | A view to the efforts so far
Message:
All hail xena's rhyme and her meter;
Naught here written could ever defeat her.
Every word of her rhyme
So profound, so sublime
As the songs at the gate of St. Peter.
But what language is this from abegtrup?
If Latvian, surely he screwed-up.
But maybe he vented
In a tongue he invented
Like C++ as did Bjarne Stroustrup?
...
Oh, wait, no: it was French.
Well, even worse. ;)
~ with love
s/p
|
abegtrup
12/02/2004
07:37:01
[ report this post ] | por mon ami...
Message:
Oui, oui, monsieur Pandy
I have become the bourgeoisie!
For you in the trenches,
I have nothing but pretenses,
I seeing you look up to me!
(hee, hee...)
- Frenchy
|
pandemona
12/02/2004
08:22:58
[ report this post ] | Challenge!
Message:
It's hard to believe Orange-Shirted's
Mind to write that was really exerted
(Why, it's simple to rhyme with my ' pandemona '
Easier still to match my truncated persona)
So a challenge: and don't skirt it.
We can all rhyme with cat and dog, I assert,
But some class it's time to insert.
So write me a poem
I'd be proud to take home
Rhyme with the colour of your orange shirt!
|
bgscot
12/02/2004
08:36:10
[ report this post ] | C'est la poop.
Message:
ABigTrout, that last one was almost worthy of bergil it was so bad.
While Xena wreaks havoc all over the place,
She secretly yearns for Gabrielle's embrace,
The hot oil flowed just right,
Every passionate night,
Until they were very flushed in the face.
|
abegtrup
12/02/2004
08:49:11
[ report this post ] | xena
Message:
Of leaders, she is queen;
As a tourmentor she's quite mean;
Be weary my pawn -
and don't do her wrong...
or "Off with your head!" she will scream!
For mighty a team she has built!
From here you have to stand on a stilt,
to see pass the heads,
of which all are quite dead...
and I bet she has not one iota of guilt!
Truth is, you're a pill.
Although everyday still,
I look forward to serving,
although you're not quite deserving...
of my excellent Social Dude skill.
But were I a fly,
and could escape your eye...
I'd land on your shoulder
and quickly scoot over
and you guessed it - I'd spit in your eye!
But no, I'm a pawn -
and my limerick's near gone.
I've vented and moaned,
and now feel so alone,
but one more verse I shall definitely go on....
How dare you usurp my thread!
This day I will surely dread!
For all of my work
you stole it - you jerk!
I going to go cry in my bed...
---
An Ode to Jerkxena
by Social Dude
|
xena
12/02/2004
23:38:13
[ report this post ] | Elegy To A Spleen-Venting Social Dude
Message:
Poor bedridden SD, you're a slacker,
Not to mention a Xena-Attacker.
Of course this thread I'll usurp
and then I'll send you off to Antwerp,
Seems your cheese has slid right off your cracker.
Stay tuned, more to come :-)
|
rupert29
12/06/2004
02:16:46
[ report this post ] | And you reckon my last line struggled!!
Message:
A Limerick to Beer and what bergil admits when he consumes it....
Beer, oh beer, oh beer,
I want you all to hear,
The taste is divine,
Don't drink of the vine,
And yes, bergil is queer!!
If you can't win on the board, become slanderous!!!
bergil, look up slanderous in the dictionary ;)
|
bergil
12/06/2004
09:14:18
[ report this post ] | Fact?
Message:
To slander and be falsely accused
Can bergil exonerate and be so excused
The voice of common sense and reason is he
With out a doubt of this you can be
Of the truth I never abuse, to mistreat or considered to have misused
Bergil: My opening statement your honour.
Judge: Case dismissed
|
bgscot
12/06/2004
13:34:04
[ report this post ] | Haiku anyone...?
Message:
Limericks seem to have dwindled... which is probably a good thing.
veiled is the kings game,
a journey of no return,
quick the taste of fear.
|
abegtrup
12/06/2004
14:15:19
[ report this post ] | Nope... I'm just getting started!
Message:
So here is my ode to orange,
for you see, I took Pandy's challenge!
Triumph I shall -
and always prevail!
Although through a dictionary I did have to scavenge...
It's not quite the color red -
for its intensity has been bled
by mixing in some yellow,
and letting it mellow,
you get a mutt - not a purebred.
Its name it shares with a fruit,
which is a rather fitting tribute,
for a color you can see,
and drink to get your Vitamin C -
Thank god its not poisonous bloodroot!
It's only friend is green...
although together they are never seen,
for fashion claims they clash,
a total marriage mishmash -
and a union deemed obscene.
So orange sat alone...
until its peers it finally outshone -
now it's on my shirt,
and I'm the expert
of the color befitting the Social Dude Zone!
|
bgscot
12/07/2004
09:43:30
[ report this post ] | Worst Limerick Ever:
Message:
Is there a prize for the most horridly composed limerick? Surely I can take that prize at least.
Getting maimed in team games are a killa',
Haven't felt this bad since trying to rhyme gorrilla,
My opponent is devout,
hope the bastard'll timout,
Or its back to the freezer for vanilla.
|
gru88y
12/08/2004
04:08:58
[ report this post ] | oh...
Message:
.... now come on that is your best effort (and I choose my word here) so far.
|
itk2k
12/08/2004
06:38:57
[ report this post ] | What the !?@?!
Message:
Jesus, with the Navy Losers in idle, you guys have resorted to some pretty low measures to entertain yourselves. I guess you guys miss the spice we add to your forum. We miss makin' fun of you guys too!!!!
---itk2k, a.k.a.....The Recruiter
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abegtrup
12/08/2004
20:55:01
[ report this post ] | Simon, Garfunkel, and itk2k
Message:
itk2k didn't know how to rhyme,
so he sat, idlely, on the side line;
until he thought it'd be nice,
to throw in some spice -
I believe it was rosemary and thyme. =)
|
bergil
12/09/2004
19:19:26
[ report this post ] | Cheer up there is always tomorrow
Message:
How sad, you know I almost forgot
That annoying little voice bgscot
He complains and he moans
He sighs and he groans
And all cause his wife said I've a headache tonight and he could not
|
abegtrup
12/11/2004
08:06:45
[ report this post ] | Second verse - worst than the first!
Message:
bgscot has turned a new leaf,
he's no longer sleeping with sheep.
He claims he's no loser
- hell what a poser...
I bet he jacks off in his sleep!
(Oh sorry, that really wasn't nice...)
|
bgscot
12/11/2004
09:04:09
[ report this post ] | Thanks for that Social Dude.
Message:
Let me introduce you to Husqvarna,
SD Chainsaw Massacre, it must be karma,
I've sworn off sheep,
But I'll make you bleet,
When I'm done they'll be calling you Dharma.
You know this is hardly keeping with the spirit of the sason.
|
abegtrup
12/15/2004
08:41:40
[ report this post ] | no offense truly meant...
Message:
What is the spirit of the season?
Surely it must be to reason,
through kidding and ryhme,
it can't be a crime -
And that is the take home lesson!
|
bergil
12/15/2004
22:33:05
[ report this post ] | Did someone say reason?
Message:
To rupert and chilliman of the VBXXXX society
Your team mates they lack, any kind of propiety
So don't waste your time
When both in your prime
come join with us and show us some piety
|
xena
12/15/2004
23:26:26
[ report this post ] | Ode to Inanity
Message:
Oh god this forum is endless
We all know bergil is friendless
Touting his rhymes with no reason
It must be The Season
And this limerick will go on and ooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....
(oops.. sorry, forgot where I was for a minute)
PS. No winners yet....go on and bribe me :-)
|
gru88y
12/16/2004
00:37:09
[ report this post ] | well how about this then...
Message:
There was a kiwi bint from down under
Who could fart louder than thunder
She kept blaming Armin
Saying "dang that there varmin"
Till a match blew the culprit asunder
I'll get my coat
i thanky you
|
odonata
12/16/2004
03:17:26
[ report this post ] | Yes, I know you missed me...
Message:
Finally that cool guy came by
Not one of yours, he was very fly
He bribed Xena and passed the test
Thus winning this most bizar contest
All Abegtrup & Gru88y could cry out was... whyyy?!?
|
xena
12/16/2004
03:52:00
[ report this post ] | Annnd we have a...
Message:
...winner!!!! odonata wins an all expenses paid* trip over his own home town. Well let's face it...no one else wants it.
...see ya !
* 'All Expenses Paid' is a generic term not intended to mean that we 'The Pawn Stars' (TM) will pay for said 'trip' or any part of said 'trip' over Atwerp. So go and sue us then...we do have a lawyer on the team you know :-)
|
abegtrup
12/16/2004
05:11:57
[ report this post ] | Concession speech...
Message:
Good efforts all around
but now the winner has been crowned
I should have known better
she'd pick her ex-lover
Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound...
|
abegtrup
12/16/2004
05:26:26
[ report this post ] | Forum close
Message:
It was fun while it lasted
the time, it help pass it -
until next time
when we start to ryhme
let's all go and get wasted!
Off to the beach...
as the VBXXXX BBQ food is gone, gameknot.com/fmsg/chess5/1860.shtml
and the Pawn Star X-Mas party is drying up. gameknot.com/fmsg/chess5/1884.shtml
- Social Dude
|
xena
12/16/2004
05:26:55
[ report this post ] | Dear SD...
Message:
*BIG EXTENSIVE RASPBERRY* to you.
I hereby declare this forum closed :-)
PS. 51st posts and beyond are NOT permitted ....the judge's decision is final!!!
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| | Maximum number of reply messages has been reached |
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