| From | Message |
deadofknight
12/14/2004
20:17:05
[ report this post ] |
 Subject: GLOBAL BOUNTY HUNTERS TEAM THREAD #55
Message:
I laughed until I cried Keith.
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muppyman
12/14/2004
21:00:33
[ report this post ] | boy oh boy
Message:
don't you just love the way she crosses her I's and dots her T's, ...or something. :))
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chimane
12/15/2004
06:44:55
[ report this post ] | what's the matter with the snow color?
Message:
Right now I would accept yellow snow or any snow. It is so hot here, snow is only a distant memory of Christmas past... so while you are all romping around naked in the snow peeing messages to each other, just enjoy and remember those of us who can not join in!
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muppyman
12/15/2004
11:44:45
[ report this post ] | chimane,
Message:
Welcome to the southern hemisphere, where I live we see snow on the alps all year round but in winter it snows on my city an average of one day per year, and that is usually gone in 24 hours. so we have to be ready to pee at short notice. :)
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astinkyfart
12/15/2004
18:31:21
[ report this post ] | LARGE TEAM MATCH ON THE WAY
Message:
JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS... IM TRYING TO SET UP A LARGE TEAM MATCH WITH SOUTHERN CHESS TEAM. IM GOING TO LET EVERYONE DROP ONE GAME BELOW THEIR MAX SO ALL WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR THIS MATCH. THEY HAVE 21 MEMBERS AND IM GOING TO TRY AND MATCH AS MANY AS POSSIBLE. SOME OF US MAY BE LEFT OUT (INCLUDING ME) BUT IM JUST LETTING EVERYONE KNOW WHY I WONT BE SETTING UP TOO MANY MORE MATCHES UNTIL THIS LARGE MATCH TAKES PLACE. I AM CONSTANTLY SETTING UP TWO OR THREE PLAYER MATCHES AND I THINK IT WOULD BE NICE TO SET UP A LARGER SCALE BATTLE WITH TEAM. THE MATCH WILL BE 5 DAYS PER MOVE. THIS DOESNT MEAN THEY WILL USE ALL THEIR TIME BUT I HAVE TO ALLOW 5 DAYS TO INCLUDE AS MANY PLAYERS AS POSSIBLE. I HOPE EVERYONE IS OK WITH THIS. :)
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peterf
12/15/2004
18:36:08
[ report this post ] | Team Match
Message:
Great idea - count me in
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richardwyles
12/15/2004
18:36:59
[ report this post ] | Count me in
Message:
for the team match and I guess pissing in the snow, I'm a little further north than Muppyman so the opportunities are even more scarce.
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deadofknight
12/15/2004
20:09:50
[ report this post ] | Love it...
Message:
Im all in.
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flyerguy1012
12/15/2004
20:27:54
[ report this post ] | ALRIGHT
Message:
For the record.......I'm married to Ruth........she has no teeth.........and we both enjoy peeing in the snow........GO GBH !!!!!!!
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astinkyfart
12/15/2004
20:31:05
[ report this post ] | IF I ONLY COULD BE SO LUCKY
Message:
TO FIND A TOOTHLESS WOMAN... SIGH..... :)
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deadofknight
12/15/2004
20:52:02
[ report this post ] | Keith...
Message:
you are a bad man...
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muppyman
12/15/2004
21:07:05
[ report this post ] | flyerguy,
Message:
Why did you knock her teeth out? Not for Keith's nefarious reason surely? I am told that she washes your clothes, cooks your meals, cleans the house, and gets no fangs from you for all this slavery.
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flyerguy1012
12/15/2004
21:07:55
[ report this post ] | True deadofknight
Message:
but an admirable captain none the less
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muppyman
12/15/2004
21:12:19
[ report this post ] | is it true??
Message:
someone asked her if you were really getting her some new teeth for Xmas, and she replied "false!!!"
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flyerguy1012
12/15/2004
21:31:19
[ report this post ] | actually
Message:
she was born with no teeth and just never grew them in
or so she tells me......she also says she has no desire for false teeth so who am I to argue.....
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muppyman
12/15/2004
23:34:35
[ report this post ] | well shoot,
Message:
you argue with everyone else, so why not with her?
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sonofcaissa
12/16/2004
00:01:00
[ report this post ] | Big Team Match
Message:
Count me in.
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cliffontas
12/16/2004
01:10:24
[ report this post ] | Let's hunt some bounty :)
Message:
Count me in captain
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chimane
12/16/2004
04:14:00
[ report this post ] | I've got my battle Axe
Message:
ready to swipe at a few of those southern chess team players. Let me at them....
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astinkyfart
12/16/2004
04:31:16
[ report this post ] | if ....
Message:
anyone is not included in this large team match its because there wasnt a good match up but never fear. i will be doing this again as soon as possible witha different team. my goal is to include the whole team in a match eventually :)
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lazarus_a
12/16/2004
11:01:49
[ report this post ] | Me too , captain .
Message:
About the match .
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breakerofwind
12/16/2004
19:13:22
[ report this post ] | I'll play too.
Message:
Any gals on that team? Which reminds me. Know the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl? A northern girl says "You can" while a southern girls says "You all can"
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astinkyfart
12/17/2004
05:37:51
[ report this post ] | how do you know
Message:
a toothbrush was invented up north?? because if it was invented in the south it would have been called a teeth brush. :)
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flyerguy1012
12/17/2004
08:31:01
[ report this post ] | Keith
Message:
Are you making fun of Ruth again??....
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chimane
12/17/2004
11:45:53
[ report this post ] | Tips for yankees Moving South
Message:
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean they can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do not buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid there.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, they stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more yankees than Southerners living there.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the position of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
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webb31620
12/17/2004
13:56:14
[ report this post ] |
Message:
Q. Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do?
A. Yes-- Northerners.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM "UP NORTH" WHEN...
* you only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup
* you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit
* the mosquitoes have landing lights
* you have more miles on your snowblower than your car
* you live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground
* you've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard
* driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow
* you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons
* you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car
* the local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports
* your snowblower gets stuck
* you find -20F a little chilly
* the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
* you attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots
* you can play road hockey on skates
* shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout
* you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
* the municipality buys a zamboni before a bus
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astinkyfart
12/17/2004
14:21:14
[ report this post ] | one good thing about it
Message:
if the chess bosards start flying we have more players. hey bounty hunters "aim small miss small" yall ;) dont throw the pawns until you see the whites of their eyes!
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webb31620
12/17/2004
15:00:43
[ report this post ] | Sunglasses at night
Message:
Southern Chess, Time to put on your Ray-Ban, Maui Jim, Oakley, Smith, Bolle, Arnett, and Christian Dior. Don't let them see the whites of your eyes...
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webb31620
12/17/2004
15:24:01
[ report this post ] |
Message:
What the "H" "E" "Double toothpicks" am I saying. The Southern Chess team's eyes are bloodshot 99.9% of the time.
-Webb
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astinkyfart
12/17/2004
15:28:56
[ report this post ] | no doubt
Message:
from staying up late drinking southern comfort. i suggest drinking alot before your match with us. ;)
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webb31620
12/17/2004
15:37:48
[ report this post ] | Whoa, wait just a minute!
Message:
Now any self respecting Southern Chess player prefers That Tennessee Bourbon to that "rot gut" made in Missouri. "Jack" beat's them hands down. Even brother "Jim" from Kentucky is more respectable.
-Webb
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breakerofwind
12/17/2004
15:49:53
[ report this post ] | Great picture,
Message:
Webb. Is your first name Ruth? (didn't see many teeth there) :)
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muppyman
12/17/2004
15:57:28
[ report this post ] | I have to report,
Message:
my first two wins for the team, both by timeouts early in the game. I truly do not know whether I should be elated at such hollow victories, because frankly I feel more like apologising to the team. At least I can sympathise with team captains for the way they must feel about their team members timing out in team matches. If there are any points I will take them, but this is no way to advance our cause.
A very offpissed Muppyman.:(
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chimane
12/17/2004
16:33:54
[ report this post ] | More study info on our opponents!
Message:
Before any good match up it is important to learn and understand your opponent as much as possible... so I again offer a little more background info on ou opponents. GBH please study this carefully so that you can understand who we are up against.
Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow?
She can't touch it 'til she's 14.
How can you tell if a Carolina fella is married?
Dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup.
Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Virginia to 32?
They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
What do they call rerun of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?
Documentaries.
A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
The driver replies, "Bout whut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Kentucky burned down?
Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too, both books up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
A new law recently passed in Louisiana:
When a couple gets divorced, they remain brother and sister.
And Muppypup I feel your pain buddy... Maybe you can sink your teeth into some of these Southern chess players and become avenged. =)
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sugarandspice
12/17/2004
16:42:19
[ report this post ] | Enlighten me....
Message:
Where exactly does the "North" end and the "South" begin? I have a dividing line in my mind, but do tell where you believe it to be (just to amuse me)? And dont expect me to be able to tell when you all start saying "Y'all" or "Big'ol" coz y'all slip into that no matter where you're from!! And what exactly is the deal with a "crick"? I always thought that was something you got in your neck, until my man informed me otherwise.
Captain my pawns are preoccupied, seeking permission to throw Blahniks instead? Am thinking the sharpness might do a good job in piercing those Oakleys?
Absinthe is better!
Oh Muppypup, yes timeouts are the least satisfying way of winning, but being a bit offpissed is better than a slap in the face :)
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webb31620
12/17/2004
16:43:46
[ report this post ] | Important Notice
Message:
Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to All Visiting Northerners and Northeastern Urbanites:
1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kickyour a**.
2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, LutherRay, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis,etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick your a**.
3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever -- it's still just a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an a** kicking.
4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner. We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your a**.
5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their a**.
6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your a**.
7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your a**.
8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended -- with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your a**.
9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your a** kicked.
10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern sh** holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your a** on home before it gets kicked.
11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your a**.
12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your a** all the way back to Boston Harbor.
13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your a** just like they did ours.
14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense not to live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Newark. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your a**.
15) Last, but not least, DON'T DARE come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your a** shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you snowbirds come down here at all. Criticize our barbeque, and you will go home in a pine box -- minus your a**.
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chex123987
12/17/2004
17:03:21
[ report this post ] | Thats good
Message:
Webb but I'm from the north and was born in Columbus, Ohio and live there all my life untill now. I moved down here to Augusta last summer. But I'm proud to be on the Southern Chess team. Ohh yeah and Webb, my friends get on me so much because I call "Coke", "Pop".
Chex (member of Southern Chess)
P.S. We need some more suporters in this forum y'all(whoever's reading this forum and on Southern Chess team why don't you support us). It's only me and "stinkin'" Webb in this forum.
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webb31620
12/17/2004
17:38:34
[ report this post ] | Education time...
Message:
The correct term for a soda, coke, pop, etc. is a "Belly Wash".
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chimane
12/17/2004
17:39:07
[ report this post ] | Things you'll never hear a Southerner say,
Message:
no matter how far from The South they've wandered...
Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Those jeans are too tight on that girl.
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
Don't park on the lawn Billy.
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better that espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
That woman needs to put on a bra.
I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like you fish poached or broiled?
My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Who gives a damn who won? The Civil War ended 135 years ago.
Checkmate.
The tires on that truck are too big
Nope, no more for me. I'm driving
She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Those shorts are too short, Darla.
Elvis who?
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webb31620
12/17/2004
17:46:44
[ report this post ] | You might be a Yankee IF:
Message:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
30. You've never been to a craft show.
31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
33. None of your fur coats are homemade.
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webb31620
12/17/2004
17:49:42
[ report this post ] | More you might be a Yankee IF:
Message:
1. Your wife opens the door for you.
2. You let doors slam in anyone’s face (male or female).
3. You think dinner & supper are the same meal.
4. Your philosophy is "there oughta be a law".
5. You escape high taxes in the North and vote to raise them in the South.
6. Your socks match your "outfit".
7. You're a winter resident of "Floorida".
8. What's on T.V. tonight is important.
9. Who won the academy awards is news.
10. You believe your newspaper contains news.
11. Y'all is one person.
12. You wave at the lady with the flat tire.
13. You consider yourself a "progressive" instead of a nosy, busybody do-gooder.
14. You talk through your nose.
15. You fall for a Southern used car salesman turned president.
16. You're patriotic no matter what the government does.
17. You're offended by Southern symbols in the South.
18. You talk with your mouth full.
19. Your parents never taught you to say “thank-you”.
20. You think addressing your elders as “Sir” & “Ma’am” will hurt your self esteem.
21. You consider your car a status symbol.
22. You take the Wall Street Journal so your neighbors will see it in your driveway.
23. You call everyone “Guys”.
24. When you want others to think you’ve done something extraordinary you holler “Yesssss!”
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webb31620
12/17/2004
18:00:36
[ report this post ] | This is a hoot!
Message:
More fun than cow tippin'...LOL
-Webb
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muppyman
12/17/2004
18:06:54
[ report this post ] | on a serious note,
Message:
although all this "above and below the Mason Dixon line" banter is hilarious, and reminds me that it's a sad man who cannot laugh at himself, nevertheless I look forward to the clash between two great teams, and it just seems a shame that we will be forced to whup your butts. :)
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chimane
12/17/2004
18:07:30
[ report this post ] | Hunting in the South
Message:
Fellow Global Bounty Hunters:
As we will be hunting in the south... I share this as a warning, beware who your hunting partner is..... LOL
A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard.
The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??"
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niemker
12/17/2004
18:08:53
[ report this post ] | yankees
Message:
Have any of you seen "For Love of the Game" with kevin Costner? The scene where he is warming up just prior to the start of the game says it all. The Yankee fans of course are yelling and being as foul mouthed and ugly as possible and he says to himself: "I can always tell when I'm in New York."
Speaking of New York, a friend of mine had to go to NY for a few weeks so he decided to drive; BIG MISTAKE. (I swear I'm not making this up.) While he was in church his new car was stolen.
Niemker
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chimane
12/17/2004
18:18:15
[ report this post ] | Language analysis
Message:
You may hear some of these southerners using the same terminology as you, but do not assume it means what you think it does. Below is an accurate translation lf what they are really trying to communicate.
LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
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webb31620
12/17/2004
18:18:59
[ report this post ] | Enlighten me....
Message:
Southern States consist of the following: Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia.
A true Southerner claims half of Missouri and half of Kentucky to be of Southern Heritage. Also, A true southerner does not recognize West Virginia as a State. It's simply just part of Pennsylvania and part Washington D.C.
North Florida is Southern all the time. South and mid Florida are only fully Southern only after the snow birds leave.
Which brings up the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee. A Yankee comes and visits and leaves. A Damn Yankee (also called a Carpetbagger) comes to visit and stays.
-Webb
Not to offened my Southern Bretheren, but we have a long standing joke in South Georgia. A Yankee is anyone from above the City of Macon, Georgia which is located middle of the State.
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webb31620
12/17/2004
18:29:03
[ report this post ] | On a serious note....
Message:
Muppyman, Let's not be lettin' your mouth write checks you butt can't (pronounced caint) cash!
LOL...
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chimane
12/17/2004
18:34:01
[ report this post ] | Webb, you are great!
Message:
Since you seem to be the most vocal and most cheerful player on your team, I researched your state specifically and these are some things I've learned about Georgia....
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. Squirrels will eat anything.
5. Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
6. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
7. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it bites.
8. A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
9. Onced and Twiced are words.
10. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
11. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
12. People actually grow and eat okra.
13. Fixinto is one word.
14. There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
15. Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
16. Backards and forwards means I know everything about you.
17. 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
18. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
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1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. You know what a 'dawg' is.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You c! arry jumper cables in your car... for you OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, texas pete and catsup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. Your think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
15. You know whether another Georgian is from north,south or middle Georgia as soon as they open their mouth.
16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin" or "off to Wally World"
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor, Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from GA (and those who just wish they were).
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webb31620
12/17/2004
18:47:06
[ report this post ] | You're almost on the money...
Message:
LOL. Those quips are pretty much on the money.
Here are the corrections:
1. We don't have Raccoons. They are just coons.
2. Not only do we grow and eat okra (pronounced okreee) but we also grow and eat Mustard and Collard Greens.
3. Babys start drinking "Sweet Tea" at about nine months. Mothers also prepare a bottle of tea along with the bottle of milk for the diaper bag.
-Webb
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chimane
12/17/2004
19:10:51
[ report this post ] | Thanks
Message:
for adding to my knowledge. I usually need some correction it is hard for us to understand all that foreign cultural and language... believe me i've spent most of my life studying languages and cultures!
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