| From | Message |
nib-drummer
5/03/2005
01:58:55
[ report this post ] |
 Subject: Al Chesseera
Message:
gk:\run_FORUM DIAGNOSTICs
testing.....testing.... one....two.... three________ one... two..... one... two.....
.......Anything?
No, nothing. it still won't work
.......what the hell is wrong with it then?
i dunno, but i think it's died big time
........did it ever work?
no, not very well
........routing problems huh?
summat like that, or maybe the frequency is all wrong
.........perhaps they can see our posts but we can't see theirs?
No, the system doesn't work that way
.........maybe it's a whole new system?
i think you could be right
.........either way.........
.........
.........might as well switch it off again ___________________________
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vincent_deluxe
5/03/2005
10:43:55
[ report this post ] | report from strategy center
Message:
We are defenitly up and running, hope to be running forever, a couple of thousand years, or even five hundred would be pretty nice. Why?
What we offer is simply so good that not a single microbe feels the need to compete with us so we're hanging in here.
From time to time our influence my vanish due to causes beyond our power but let's put it like this we are alive and our ideology is as well.
-Have you ever visited Sweden?
Now a good question: what is our ideology?
To mock the pope and all his cardinals, to have a laugh at those who believe jokes are unnecessary. To mock everything you stand for should it be different than what we stand for... Or in a more polite version:
-They have a beautiful enviroment and some very juicy animals.
-juicy animals? How can animals be juicy?
-If you shoot them and boil them in a frying pan afterwards
We at Al Chesseera intend to discover, train, and developed chess talent who can't fit in regular teams because of an overdose of humour. This being terribly dangerous to the site we should attract as many of these splitters as possible and train them to get them back in the row. All of the profit we make from our fully legal activities is spent on managing the team and we have succesfully attracted some key figures
-Have you got relatives in Sweden?
nib-drummer: chief-psychiatrist and beloved team captain
chesseera: minister of internal watch to make sure our forum post don't bother you
Mad4Mosa: our greatest achievement
Jasogold: Immanual Kant reïncarnated (after the drugs)
Glorified-Monkey: used to live in the jungle, now he's with us, the difference is trivial.
Vincent_Deluxe: a junoir strategist who thrust himself more than is good for him
alfro_j: our greatest youth talent
-Yes I have one of my 8 wives living there
-Oh yes, how is she doing, does she still have these huge airbags?
So what about the others? I forgot because I'm so drunk I can't remember their names (no not really, but I bet you believed it).
-No, not really I believe you are mentioning wife number 6 out of 8 in Kualalumpur, but no, she hasn't. The Swedish has got a very nice Porsche tough with huge airbags. Unfortunalty I've never tried these out. Well that's one of the advantages og having multiple wives. You get to drive multiple cars and let them get arrested if the local bobby's find out they've been stolen. Do they ever get me? Never because I have the strange habit of appearing here and there or everywhere when I feel like it....
Anyway, Sweden, nice country, lot's of special, things.
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nib-drummer
5/05/2005
14:55:19
[ report this post ] | Vincent.... you forgot....
Message:
... robert1 - high speed knife sharpener and our esteemed director of chess
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chesseera
5/08/2005
19:03:27
[ report this post ] | all
Message:
a figure of speech, right Vince? RIGHT?? Oh well, trying to be funny is not a crime in most States yet, is it?
BTW: those of us who aren't gay/commy/atheist/reallyreallyconfused DO like the Pope and all his Cardinals...c'mon now, am I the only one??
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chesseera
5/09/2005
05:01:28
[ report this post ] | Thanks for the quick rescue there...
Message:
In the nick of time, Nibby! Baddies were lobbing scuds and Big X was already mounting Saddam's Supergun (luckily those big steel sewage pipes take a while to get screwed together)! The insanity trick worked...this time. Crazy as a coot, I get! Me so solly!!
Uhm, group strategy... Well
JOIN US!!! Al Chesseera g u a r a n t e e s you 30% MORE INSANITY than your current club can offer! Do you love surprises? We'll keep you guessing what by Knot is coming next. We reveal all, Mars and Venus have no more secrets!
The No 1 Ladies Chess Club, satisfaction guaranteed! Visit us at
-> gameknot.com Al Chesseera's Tea Rooms. We have real women, and some guys in drag. Arafat's keffyeh is an honorary member!
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leelu
5/11/2005
23:18:36
[ report this post ] | As a real woman
Message:
I wish I could join this delightful team (but I'm one of the three founding members of the ROOKETTES & my captain, & btw, my sister would hold it as HIGH treason if I were to leave.) However, I did join the club. What a Hoot (it's also some other things that would probably get deleted if posted it.) I am guaranteed all the gin I can handle (also some that I can't, but that's another story) good laughs, and much entertanment. I love the club. Nib-drummer, chesseera, is our team as much fun as the club?
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leelu
5/11/2005
23:20:02
[ report this post ] | Um...
Message:
I put "our" team when I meant "your" team. See what a magnetic personality this team has?
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nib-drummer
5/12/2005
02:33:10
[ report this post ] | Well leelu....
Message:
... in the good old days of public forum posting it was. since the clubs, these team forums had got a bit stuffy, but good old chesseera has livened them up and has already had one forum deleted..... could be a world record........!!!!!!!
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rookie76
5/12/2005
03:03:27
[ report this post ] | Al Jazeera
Message:
Has anyone watched the news lately? There seems to be a big hype about a Koran being flushed down the toilet somewhere. It must have been a french toilet, because I've tried it at home and it won't work with the toilets we use in the civilized world.
Of course, since the Dutch are not as stupid as everyone thinks, I started to tear up the Holy Koran and now use the single pages. But now I find myself saying, while gently whiping my a**:'Holy sh**, this is rougher than generic toilet paper!'
And this is how a new business plan was born! Why not print the Koran on nice soft tp? I think there is a huge market for it, both in the US and the Netherlands. Is anyone in? I'm still thinking about a brand name. Any suggestions?
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chesseera
5/12/2005
03:49:15
[ report this post ] | PIM
Message:
FORTUYN memorial TOILET PAPER. Great. Perhaps you can get a government contract in the US. US military standard issue!! Or shouldn't I say this in front of my best friend's 14-y-old daughter??? Funny, I teach a class of 14-y-olds, and they simply lap it up!
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rookie76
5/12/2005
04:01:17
[ report this post ] | Or Van Gogh,
Message:
Theo van Gogh might be better known in the United States. But I like the idea!
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chesseera
5/12/2005
06:48:23
[ report this post ] | Better not Van Gogh
Message:
The yanks might confuse the used paper with The Sunflowers...
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rookie76
5/12/2005
07:43:43
[ report this post ] | Yeah, I guess you're right...
Message:
I already have a slogan though!
READING THE KORAN, WHILE YOU'RE ON THE CAN!
How does that sound?
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nib-drummer
5/12/2005
09:15:16
[ report this post ] | no no,
Message:
the yanks already tried exploding toilet paper.
This won't do at all, you two will have a fatwah out on you before the ink dries on this one. Jeez and i was worried about mentioning oakleaves with swords and diamonds in the prawnie forum!!??
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rookie76
5/12/2005
09:59:52
[ report this post ] | Wait,
Message:
It's not my intention to upset the Islamic community. I'm not a political or religious activist. I think, in The Netherlands, we call this entrepreneurialism....
I still don't have a good brand name...
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atkinson
5/12/2005
11:06:00
[ report this post ] | subjects to discuss
Message:
So Islam, the koran, politics and religious activists, F*** it lets just get writing poems about suicide bombers and have done with it
Notice from GameKnot: atkinson has lost his/her forum posting privileges as a result of this post (profanity).
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jasogold
5/12/2005
12:13:18
[ report this post ] | Why don't we ask....
Message:
....Robert Kilroy Silk to join us, he likes nothing better than knocking Islam, as a bunch of arm cutting off, suicide bomber ragheads. (For those outside the UK he's an MP/TV Host/UKIP etc etc).
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rookie76
5/12/2005
12:20:53
[ report this post ] | A poem...
Message:
I don't consider myself a great poet, but let me give it a try...
No beer, No booze, No bars
No television, no football, no baseball
No cheerleaders
No basketball, no hockey, no golf, no tailgate parties
No hooters
No pork BBQ, no burgers, no hotdogs
No lobster, no shellfish
Not even a frozen fishstick
Rags for clothes and towels for hats
Constant wailing from the guy next door, because...
No docters
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower, because...
No...
No shaving, and your wife can't shave
No shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung
No toilet paper (I'm working on that though)
No chocolate chip cookies, no christmas, no pretty faces in the street
No choosing of you own bride
But worst of all
No virgins in the afterlive, if you don't blow your self up, killing some infidels
Notice from GameKnot: rookie76 has lost his/her forum posting privileges as a result of this and other posts (numerous off-topics).
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glorified_monkey
5/12/2005
12:45:10
[ report this post ] | Bad Idea
Message:
I thoroughly enjoy my infidel status and do not wish to have it tainted while I am sitting on the can. You have to have warning signs, saying "WARNING TOILET PAPER MAY CAUSE YOU TO BLOW YOURSELF UP"
It's generally not my custom to be THAT offensive. But hey...
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chesseera
5/12/2005
14:27:37
[ report this post ] | As I heard someone say
Message:
The Pope is a faggot, Muhammad had a teeny weeny and all Muslims are sissies with no sense of humour!
Notice from GameKnot: chesseera has lost his/her forum posting privileges as a result of this and other posts (insults, off-topic).
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nib-drummer
5/12/2005
15:39:05
[ report this post ] | Brand names with tag lines
Message:
Koran Ultra Soft
"Learn, while you burn, while you wipe"
Kor'an-drex
"Soft, strong and highly explosive"
Notice from GameKnot: nib-drummer has lost his/her forum posting privileges as a result of this and other posts (numerous off-topics).
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glorified_monkey
5/12/2005
15:50:06
[ report this post ] | huh?
Message:
Why is thread still here? Why hasn't everyone involved lost their posting privileges? It's all the same to me.
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nib-drummer
5/12/2005
16:28:16
[ report this post ] | Because Monkey...
Message:
... our forefathers died so that we might have free speech. The veil of darkness thrown over the world was lifted through their sacrifice. They did not die in vain.
This democracy, this earth, this sad and sorry forum, all as free as a bird (well, free as a bird that only has one wing and is nailed to it's perch inside an electrically charged cage filled at the bottom with water containing miniscule bird eating sharks).
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chesseera
5/12/2005
22:53:24
[ report this post ] | think we're
Message:
onto something here! no votes to delete yet! Those Yanks must really hate the religion of submission!
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chesseera
5/12/2005
23:26:53
[ report this post ] | oops!
Message:
Just got a call from my bud Al Sis. We're DOOMED!
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Quick, find another inoffensive name for this team of rascals: how about 'the chess-aholics' -'chessiacs'-'flying bishops'-'raging queens'-'kingky chess'-'the chess madrassa'- 'temple mount chess'-'little red riding rook'-'chess mahal'- 'better than chess' - 'tai chess!' - 'the whirling chessticles'- 'playing chess for Columbine' ????????????
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nib-drummer
5/13/2005
00:13:44
[ report this post ] | or
Message:
The En Passant P!ss-Ants
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chesseera
5/13/2005
00:55:30
[ report this post ] | or
Message:
Smelly Old Geezer Chess
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nib-drummer
5/13/2005
01:13:05
[ report this post ] | or
Message:
Chegsma.....
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rookie76
5/13/2005
01:48:38
[ report this post ] | What about...
Message:
Abu Chess prison, or Guanchessamo Bay?
Chess Force One?
Operation Chess Storm?
Chess and Awe
Or is this going into the wrong direction again?
The Chessinators?
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chesseera
5/13/2005
02:25:18
[ report this post ] | chess and awe...
Message:
Good one, but will it bring in the crowds? Some really childish name, like "knights of chess" seems to attract the gullible.... Can any one have a look if there is a connection? The name must have a feelgood factor, to make the newbies feel really special to have joined... sth bloody silly like
*the executioners*
*chessbusters-doombusters- THE MATE STARS (you can interpret "mating" any way you like
mate in three? (mating in a tree is difficult,but there is literature about it)
*No worries, MATE!
(must have some ozzie-pleasing quality)
*CHESS AND MATE!: this is the ideal name: bland, impersonal, all things to all people
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rookie76
5/13/2005
05:37:29
[ report this post ] | I'm not so sure...
Message:
I mean, it looks okay I guess, but there could be some serious implications. The questions we have to ask ourselves is, what kind of crowd do we want to join us. I mean, everybody knows that both both muzzies and catholics like to mate (in a productive manner I might add). So we run the risk that a lot of those people are going to join us. Not that I have personally anything against that, but as soon as the word gets out that we have a multi-cultural, socialistic chess thing going on here, all american liberals, you know, the kind that want to see Hillary (it's all for the children) Clinton in office, might also join us. And then, we'll have some serious problems. Normally those people show pretty low brain activity, but as soon as they figure out that chess is a battle of WHITE against BLACK, you KNOW they're going to try to ban it. They'll probably hire a overpriced jewish laywer and we'll all end up supporting Israel. Without being allowed to play chess anymore!
I think we should brainstorm a little more about a new name.
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nib-drummer
5/13/2005
08:11:00
[ report this post ] | That's it..... brainstorm
Message:
but best do it in private otherwise all these names will be adopted by newcomer teams and will all come back to haunts us.....
... i still like "The Bishoprics" btw
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jasogold
5/13/2005
16:44:09
[ report this post ] | Manchesster United
Message:
....then will have millions of people joining us, and then we can cash in on the merchandise. We can have an official team playing strip, and change it every three months, at fifty quid a throw.
Can see it all now, Sir Nibs Ferguson goes up to collect the Champions League trophy, to add to the most deleted forums trophy, team with most players with no posting rights trophy and the Koran Toilet Paper Premier League, what a first season as a manager.
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chesseera
5/13/2005
23:02:00
[ report this post ] | I second that!!
Message:
Brilliant. Registered it! ManChesster United TM !!
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nib-drummer
5/14/2005
08:03:03
[ report this post ] | ManChesster United!!!!!
Message:
Jas......... what can I say...... only a man obsessed with sheep could have a conscience clear enough and thought pure enough to come up with that one...
.......inspired mate... totally inspired!!!!!!!!!!!!
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jasogold
5/14/2005
10:01:03
[ report this post ] | Guys....
Message:
.....that will make my life very difficult if it becomes the team name, I'm an Arsenal fan of long standing, my father will go berserk, my friends will abandon me in droves and my girlfriend will snigger at me and tell all her Welsh mates I've got a small weenie.
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chesseera
5/14/2005
11:31:53
[ report this post ] | well...Jase...
Message:
Guess your girl knows best... Unless she tells the world, it will be our little secret! Your proposal was so brilliant in all its simplicity, that someone has already snapped it up as the name for a new team!
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nib-drummer
5/14/2005
12:29:29
[ report this post ] | I'm a Chelsea fan....
Message:
... but I can't wait for the lawsuit:
Machester United PLC ~ Versus~ ManChesster United
Too good to miss. Maybe whoever used the name will pay you back my using a pic of the Arsenal team or logo for the first few weeks or summat??!!
And as for your weenie, one swedish made weenie enlarger pump on the way first class post
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gameknot_com
5/14/2005
21:33:08
[ report this post ] |
Message:
Please see the suspension notices above. Hopefully there will be no need to revoke anyone's forum posting privileges in the future. Thank you for your understanding and anticipated cooperation.
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