In this game we shall observe why there has never been a Klingon Alpha Quadrant Chess Champion.
Chess is a game of patience as well as bravery. There is a time for the bold, sacrificial attack -- but anger, frustration and masochistic initation rituals have no place in the classic Game of Kings.
In other words, Klingons suck at chess.
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1. e4
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In this game we shall observe why there has never been a Klingon Alpha Quadrant Chess Champion.
Chess is a game of patience as well as bravery. There is a time for the bold, sacrificial attack -- but rage, frustration and masochistic initation rituals have no place in the Game of Kings.
In other words, Klingons suck at chess.
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1... g6 2. d4 Bg7
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A Modern/Robatsch Defense.
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3. Nc3 d6
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We're in main line Robatsch theory up to this point.
In the Robatsch, Black delays or totally omits Nf6 in to maintain direct control over the long diagonal, restraining White's aggressive e5 push, and keeping f5 available. Risky perhaps because White is free to develop a strong centre at leisure and severly cramp Black's play.
My opponent must be a Romulan... |
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4. Nf3
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The text is a solid, classical approach to the position.
But also possible is 4. Be3, followed usually by Qd2 (we will see this set up later). 4. f4 is also available creating a big pawn centre behind which to prepare for e5 -- but such a strategy also gives Black an easy target and just begs for over-extension.
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4... b6
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WTF??? Well, okay, if that's how you want to be... Hiding behind your cloaking device, typical...
White usually plays 4... c6 here. Also quite playable are 4... a6 (best replied to with 5. a4) and 4... Nd7 (a thematic move in the Modern/Robatsch which prepares the break at c5 or e5, and further delays developing the King's Knight).
But it appears that Black is going to set up a double fianchetto and hope White over-commits himself. Excellent strategy against a Klingon. |
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5. Be3
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Understandable, but 5 Bc4 might be better. I also don't mind 5 Be2 -- quiet, classical and always strong in closed positons...
I was setting up to play Qd2 -> Bh6 to trade off the fianchettoed Bishop. Not a bad idea usually, but maybe a bit passive here considering the leisurely freedom Black is giving me to develop and set up.
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5... h6
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My opponent's long-range scanners detect an unidentified vessel (actually a Bishop), heading for h6! Raise shields and initiate evasive maneuvers...
Black's ultra-prophylactic intentions are getting more obvious by the second. I am beginning to get a little annoyed. Must have some Klingon in me...
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6. Qd2
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6. Bc4: this is still the best move on the board according to my ship's computer.
But let's be fair to myself and say that after (if) Black castles short and I castle long, the plan (trading off the fianchettoed B), followed by a kingside pawn storm, isn't completely loopy. Still, it seems more logical to play to my strength -- a solid and powerful centre -- rather than disperse my energies on a flank attack.
But Klingons love frontal assaults....
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6... Bb7
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Might as well stick with the plan... cowardly Romulan slime devil.
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7. Bd3
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My ship's computer concurs with me here, probably because it also wants to maintain the strong centre formation. Another option is 7 d5, and after 7... c5 (or c6) then 8 dxc6 Bxc6 9 Nd4 Bb7 10 0-0-0 White's position is quite solid.
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7... a6
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I was expecting 7... Nd7 or Nf6 here. Blacks ultra-passive strategy is really starting to get under my skin now. That was, I think, the point. Klingons are soooo easy to taunt!
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8. g4
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?! Castling, preferably Kingside, is probably best here. But seeing that Black hadn't commited to castling in either direction himself, I thought I'd avoid doing so, too, and launch an attack on the Kingside where his position is most vulnerable (my Q and B are bearing down, and that pawn on d6 exerts Q/side influence making a storm there not as effective). Not really a good idea, though, as we will see.
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8... Qd7
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I'm thinking, "Geezis develop a Knight already!!!" Klingons can be soooo gullible....
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9. g5
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?! Well I am persistent, if anything. After 8. g4, 9. h3 solidifying my pawn structure is correct at this point. But "Glory for the Empire! Damn the lightsquare weakness, full speed ahead!" is the slogan of this cause...
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9... Qh3
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Crossing the neutral zone to exploit the light square weakness... and stopping me from castling short, by the way.
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10. Ng1
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?? My frustration led me to over-extend myself, and the main fleet invasion has now flustered me. 10 Qe2 (or Be2) hxg5 11 Nxe5 Qd7 12 0-0-0 and my game is still fine.
Why is it that Klingons never expect they could lose? |
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10... Qg2
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!
I never even saw this coming....
Klingons *really* suck at chess.
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11. gxh6
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Desperation: hoping to swindle the B at least... Klingons are soooo stupid.
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11... Bxh6
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And finally I realise that it is a good day to die...
Result: 0-1 and no ga'ak for me tonight.
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