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 Marriage complicates lifeA man and a woman go to the justice of the peace, and at times to a church of their choice to promise everlasting love. But it does not always work, the vows are forgotten, either by infidelity, or in some cases, where people fall out of love. And so many couples think the modern trend, is just to hook up and start living together without any kind of promise or law. It has worked for some (as far as I know), and of course if there are kids involved then they decide to get married, but even then there may be a divorce later on. The reason I started to write this ideas, is that I cannot see any real advantage for two men, or two women to marry to their same sex partners. I know there are some reasons for those marriages, one being that the law will recognize and honor a marriage legally. However, if the two people that want to live together without marriage, they can always separate without having any kind of legal obligation to each other. What is your opinion on this? |
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@easy-win I'm not sure how "Common Law" works in the US, but in Canada, it is fairly consistent among the various provinces that when a couple lives together for more than a year, despite there not having been a legal marriage, they are considered married and eligible to access most or all of the advantages listed above. Of course, if marriage is defined uniquely as a union between a man and a woman, then that would exclude those same-sex couples co-habitating, but not married from obtaining any legal status. Up here, you can't indefinitely avoid having legal obligation to each other, even if you choose not to marry. Living together for an extended period becomes a de facto marriage. This is not the case in the USA? |
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Thanks knelica2 as you point out. I suppose the main reason a person may not want marriage is because they may feel tied down and freedom is a wonderful state. But if the common law marriage takes hold after a few years, then I would thing the advantage of being married will outweigh the feeling of freedom. I think the reason some people are reluctant to ge married is because they want to be able to have more than one partner. Then I know of this gay fellow that has a partner who is married to a woman and they both enjoy that arrangement. I don't know if the woman is aware of what is going on. One advantage of same sex marriage is that you do not have children with the partner, and although children are wonderful to have, they also present a big responsibility. Just for the record, I am not gay, but I think gays have rights that should be respected, just like anyone else. I think the worst problem with some gays, is that they want to be too aggressive when attracted to a person. |
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@easy-win I think there are a lot of straight women out there who'd say the same thing about straight men. It could be that there is another issue at play here involving sexual aggression and males, but I wouldn't want to over-generalize. |
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Complicates Also, due to archaic and prejudicial tax codes, being married confers a significant tax benefit in America |
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Health Insurance |
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l_s sex males is still about HIV, or what else would cause the employers to take such action? |
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? |
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Same-sex marriage around the world And here is a short one about a same-sex couple that got married and a bit of background on why: torontosun.com |
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One of the reasons I mentioned aggression is that is a difference, because they act and dress like men. Maybe those that like other women do not always act like men but the ones that dress like men appear to be very dominant with their partner. |
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LGBTQ+ Identity Introducing lesbian, gay and bisexual appearance psychology by Victoria Clarke; doi.org Unfortunately, unless you are affiliated with a college or university, you will only get the first page, but here's a paragraph that you may find interesting: "Looking at LGB appearance and embodiment from the outside Research on heterosexual perceptions of lesbian and gay appearance and embodiment has shown a strong association between physical unattractiveness and homosexuality, and between femininity and male homosexuality and masculinity and female homosexuality (e.g. Dew, 1985; Laner & Laner, 1979; Unger, Hilderbrand, & Mader, 1982). Studies have also found links between homophobia and perceptions of unattractiveness. Participants found to be less tolerant of homosexuality are generally more likely to associate homosexuality with unattractiveness. This body of research shows that the early sexologists’ gender inversion model of homosexuality underpins perceptions of homosexuality (Kite&Deux, 1987): the authors of one study concluded that ‘homosexual men and women are disliked because they are thought to display inappropriate gender-related mannerisms’ (Laner & Laner, 1980, p. 339)." |
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Female Behavior So I've never been bothered by how women act, unless they shriek at mice, spiders, or worms. I find that kind of behavior annoying. Most of the women I know will happily kill a spider without giving the matter a second thought, or feed a mouse by hand--if they aren't dumping its dead body into a toilet or something. I guess I would be equally appalled at men who shriek at mice. I don't really view that as "homosexual," just psychologically maladjusted. Mincing gaits and limp wrists are ok for women, but if a man does this I do not find it offensive. I do make certain assumptions, but why should his behavior bother me? I watched "Atomic Blonde" last night. Charlize Theron strides with confidence. That's kind of sexy. She spends much of the movie beating the crap out of foreign spies. At no point do I think to myself, "she hits like a girl." I'd just as soon never tangle with anyone that way, male or female. What impresses me is when a person carries their own weight. Or at least half their own weight. When I go hiking, and see a woman with an eighty pound pack they boys struggle to keep up with, THAT is cause for admiration. Strength, endurance, agility--these are attributes anyone can possess with effort and training. There is much about "style" I find troubling. Women's fashions tend to be crippling. Tube skirts to restrict their movement, high heels to hobble their feet the way farmers hobble horses, long fingernails to render their hands useless... I like short fingernails, which means a person does things. Works, or demonstrates competence. THAT is sexy--the ability to make something or accomplish something. Not just adornment for some fat dude's yacht. |
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Atomic Blond Mmmmmmm Charlize Theron..... |
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l_s I assumed you were referring to married couples of the same sex when you mentioned the problem about health insurance. Sorry,...... now I suppose that is what they mean by, "ASSUMING". |
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@LS gender inversion model of homosexuality underpins perceptions of homosexuality (Kite&Deux, 1987):" It is the model itself that gives rise to (mis)perceptions about homosexuality. |
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Stereotypes "Furthermore, the use of stereotypic gendered cues to judge sexual orientation increased the accuracy of perceiver judgements, except when judging photographs of gender atypical targets (here judgements were consistently less accurate than chance) (Freeman, Johnson, Ambady, & Rule, 2010)." |
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Less Accurate Than Chance Later I met his significant other--they were both regular guys. Again--the same is true for most of the gay men I've met. Of course, I live in a conservative area, where "flamboyant" men might have trouble getting along. Maybe these move to safer areas, where they don't string gay people up on barbed wire fences, Matthew Shepard style. The lesbian women I know tend to also be more manly. Of course, everyone is different. I have a friend who asks, plaintively, "why can't everyone be normal?" I assume by that he means "more like him." God, how awful, if everyone were identical to me! Differences are what makes the world interesting. And as far as "normal" is concerned, it is just a word. Why struggle to be "normal?" Strive instead to be "exceptional." And as for hating gays--one of the most important realizations I came to back in my college days was that the more gay guys there were, the better my odds of getting a date. Why should I find that objectionable? |
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A simple guideline: |
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My wife |
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Gaydar "Popular terms such as ‘gaydar’, ‘passing’, ‘straight-acting’ and ‘closeted’ signal the importance of appearance and embodiment, and (in)visibility in lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) communities. Countless websites signal the importance of the visual presentation of self in LGB culture – spend a few minutes browsing the web and you can find (often decidedly tongue-in-cheek) discussions of, among other things, how to be a butch lesbian, the need for a bisexual haircut, and how to rate (gay) guys out of 10 for ‘cuteness’ and sex appeal." |
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Mostly stereotypes "Hayfield returns to the earliest strand of LGB appearance psychology – heterosexuals’ perceptions of lesbian and gay appearance – and provides a qualitative exploration of (predominantly heterosexual) university students’ perceptions of the ‘typical’ appearance of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and heterosexuals. She shows that although the participants identified appearance norms for lesbians and gay men, they presented these as stereotypes of lesbian and gay appearance rather than as accurate reflections of how real lesbians and gay men appear. Furthermore, in reporting that the participants struggled to identify appearance norms for bisexual people, Hayfield provides important empirical evidence of the socio-cultural invisibility of bisexuality." |
