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 TestimoniesJune 16, 2020 When I was 22 years of age some 37 years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar one disorder. Due to the single drug known as lithium salt, I maintained some sense of stability for the next 10 years. However, in March of 1995 my life changed forever as to the lack of semblance of even a modem of sanity. I was hospitalized five times that fateful year due to suicidal ideations (thoughts), and I spent many times in mental agony trying to figure out why God wanted me to undergo such misery. The lithium taken to “semi-control” my case of bipolar one disorder was this very drug that, along with other variables, such as diabetes and genetics (family history), that ultimately led to kidney failure. Indeed, on January 19, 2018, my kidneys failed starting my need for weekly dialysis treatments. From 1995 until 2018, I attempted my life some 24 times. However, God made it plain that He did not intend for me to die by suicide. He repeatedly saved me from my own hand. Around the first of 2017 year after overdosing on full strength aspirin, I found myself in agonizing, almost unbearable pain in my head on the second and third nights following the overdose. I did not sleep much the second night. However, after wrestling with the pain and agony on the third night, I began to praise the mighty name of God first in a whisper. As time went on, I began to raise my voice uttering praises unto God. When I reached halfway up the articulation, Teresa was awakened and came to my bedside. She first thought I was out of my head as she could see the agonizing pain in my face. I assured and re-assured her I was in my right mind. Then I resumed steadily raising my voice until I was shouting praises to God to the top of my lungs. This went on for about 15 to 20 minutes. God heard my fervent praise that night. As Teresa witnessed, He suddenly filled my room with his sweet, sweet presence. The indescribable peace of God was so overwhelming that though the pain still anguished my head, I could only concentrate on this overpowering peace. This went on for approximately half an hour. Then God’s presence began to fade, the pain must have slowly lost its sway as I had a most restful sleep that night. I now understand why God had me go through such a long, horrendous encroaching throughout my adult years. It was to bring me close to His bosom. I am now a member of 2 prayer teams at my church, Parkway Baptist Church. Also, during a dialysis treatment in 2019, I told one of the technicians there, “I am honored and privileged in the last days of my life, suffering (and pain) will finally bring honor and glory to my God.” I have now been a Christian for more than 51 1/2 years. My wife and I have been married for 33 tumultuous years. We have 2 furry family members – Hollie and Kattie, both 7 years of age. After 37 agonizing years of pain and turmoil, I have finally stabilizer. The very last drug I could take along with another from the same class finally gave me relief. I have been without material depression since November 2019, and I will been without material mania since May of this year. In Christ’s perfect, matchless love, Jim Byler The love of God is so vast that our finite minds are unable to grasp its propensity. |
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Brush of Death |
